Nostalgia's a silly bitch.

I meant to write about this earlier, but decided that I preferred two smaller posts to one gargantuan post of doom.

Student Council had an Eggs & Orgs rehearsal Wednesday evening; early (naturally), I made my way through the ResHalls and toward Pepper Canyon Hall very slowly, taking in the aftermath of Move-In, watching the first-years interact with one another - and getting hit by one giant wave of nostalgia and regret.
Matters were not aided any when I encountered a number of RAs gathering to go out to eat. Such a huge part of me wanted to be one of them again, and not because I missed the people, not because I missed the friendships I made, but because I missed that level of involvement. I missed being a fairly important part of the first-year's college experience. I missed the job.
I didn't think I'd regret my decision at all; for a while, I was bitter enough to be thrilled that I declined the alternate position. But for that moment, I sorely regretted that act of pride.
Eggs & Orgs didn't help matters much. I joked lightly with some friends of mine that this was my most uninvolved Orientation since my first year, and it's true - I have very little to do with Orientation activities this time around. And it showed at Eggs & Orgs - I was bored. I wanted more to do, I wanted more tasks. I wanted more involvement.
I'm wearing such a different Student Life hat this year, and something tells me that it doesn't quite fit.
But even with the nostalgia, even with the regret, I still wouldn't return to ResLife. Call it pride, if you will - I do - but I could and still can not stand the idea of returning as only second-best, especially after a year in which I gave my job everything I had. To be an alternate was just a slap in the face, and I very proudly rejected the offer. And if I had the chance to do it over, I would. In a heartbeat.
Trying to understand myself now, I realize that I don't even regret the decision I made, nor am I so bitter anymore. And in the long run, being relieved of the RA duties (I remember every horrible aspect as well as I do the good) will be a pleasure. But Welcome Week is going to sting like hell.
I was part of the winning team at Unolympics, last year. This year will be the first time I won't take any part of it at all. I won't be present at any of the other Welcome Week activities either, I don't think. My heart isn't in it, even while it's so desperate to be.

Anyway, such musings have me in a rather agitated mood, at the moment. These thoughts, combined with other... intriguing revelations have made me restless.
Did you know that it's kind of difficult liking someone if you aren't sure if they're single? Or straight?

Such thoughts of mine have robbed me of sleep for the past couple of hours. I was sleepy, not too long ago.

listening to: "This ain't a scene, it's an arms race" - Fallout Boy

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!

The ubiquitous weather post.

It rained yesterday! You know what that means, right? Yes, indeed - today was my kind of day! Clear skies, crisp air, clean smells - and simply gorgeous!
I wasn't in much of a mood to celebrate the fantastic day when I first woke up, however - since I woke up at bloody 6:20am. It was still friggin' cold at that time, skies were a foreboding shade of gray, and I was making my way to campus to work at Eggs & Orgs.
But about half-way through the breakfast, the sun started poking through the clouds, and by the time Eggs & Orgs was over, it was out for good.

Side note: being one of the oldest students at Eggs & Orgs was really disorienting (aha, I made a pun! Eggs & Orgs happens at Orientation... disorienting... I'm so hilarious). The hundreds of freshmen just looked so... young! Naive! Innocent! NOT ABOUT TO GRADUATE!
I felt like an old fogey.

But at least the weather was beautiful! It put me into driving-mode, which means that I'll look for any excuse to hop into my car and cruise around town. I do need some reason or another, since I can't justify wasting (expensive) gas on a pleasure jaunt; I decided I'd return a book to the library off of Governor, and check out the new one in the Renaissance area. Fairly decent reasoning, in my opinion.
Anyway, this kind of weather makes me giddy. :D

listening to: "Face to Face" - Daft Punk