On love, hate, and everything in between.

Just as a heads up - I'm going through some tough shit right now, which I'll react to by either withdrawing into myself once more or by pleading for attention, hugs, and kisses. Either way, I may or may not tell you just what it is that's bothering me, but just know that I am having some difficulties adjusting to certain events.

With that being said, I'll acknowledge here that this time around, my heartbreak has nothing to do with loving someone completely and utterly wrong for me. No, my heart breaks for someone else who made that mistake nearly 30 years ago, and has dealt with the repercussions with strength and willpower that I am only now beginning to fathom.

At the same time, my heart is fortified by the incredible love this woman still manages to have for myself and for my sisters, a love so strong that she has put up with all sorts of abuse and disrespect for over half her life. A love so strong that she has lived and persevered when a lesser woman would have not. It is for our sakes that she has endured levels of shit that I had sworn I would never suffer.

I've discovered, in the light of this past weekend, not only the kinds of strength a woman needs to leave a toxic relationship, but also the iron will it requires to stay.

I have, in short, discovered the amazing, wondrous thing that is the love of a mother. My only hope now is that one day, I can prove I am worthy of being her daughter. I've already demonstrated that I am quite capable of making the same mistakes that have nearly ruined her life. Let's hope that I am equally capable of the same strength.

"As a woman, I wish she had. As her daughter, I'm grateful she didn't."