Grades, coffee, and paranoia

Considering that I didn't give a hoot about either of the classes that I was taking for a grade this quarter, I can't complain. A straight "B" record won't do me too much harm. I can live with a 3.0 GPA for the quarter. My cumulative GPA rounds out to a 3.3, which I can also live with. Next quarter should be decidedly more interesting, class-wise, so I look forward to better grades. I'll also have gotten a handle on the job expectations of being an RA, and will hopefully be better at separating my work from my personal life. It's far too easy for me to get caught up in doing what I want to do versus doing what I should be, what I need to be doing. Like studying, or sleeping. It was quite easy for me to sacrifice those this quarter.
I've caught up on the sleeping part, this first week of break. I finally broke down and got sick (thank all that is holy that it happened AFTER finals week), so I took off work (which is the only reason why I stuck around SD this long) and just slept. Oh, and I ate. I ate A LOT. I could not stop eating. I think I'll be on my period soon. I usually eat like a demon before it comes by.
You probably didn't need to know that, but I'm trying this new thing where I blog for myself, and not for the 20 some odd people who read it. I requested that my feed be removed from p.n.n, and it has, so that bunch is most likely no longer reading this. Aside from them, very few others peek into my blogged life, so I suppose I can now be at my most honest since, frankly, I don't give a damn what the random strangers who might happen upon this think of my day-to-day life.
I'm typing this all at Cafe Roma in Price Center, sipping on my blended mocha with whipped cream and munching on my first meal of the day, a very hearty croissant (croissant-a-licious! [if you aren't Sean, Juliet, Megan, Christine, or myself, you probably didn't get that]). As I sit here, my back is to most of the other caffeine-addicted patrons - a position that has me feeling slightly vulnerable. The music is blaring loudly, as are my headphones (plugged into my handy mp3 player), so I can't tell if my typing bothers people. I should think my typing is the type that would, the type that would have me kicked out of Geisel Library before I'd even finished writing my name. I'm an aggressive typer - I really like punching the keys. I think it produces a sound of accomplishment, but apparently studiers in Geisel would disagree.
But I digress.
The screen sits a good two feet away from me - possibly three (I'm rather bad at estimating distances) - so anyone with good eyesight and within close proximity to myself could read my screen. I don't know why I should be bothered to care, since this thing is being published on the web. And I don't really care if they read my blog; I care more about what they think of blogging. And of me blogging on a public computer. Of me blogging in general. I'm too intimidated to visit facebook right now, because I'm afraid the people sitting nearby would scoff in their heads.
Like I said, I can't be sure why I'm even bothered enough to care, but there you are. I've always cared too much what people think about me. I never step out of my room without having examined my outfit in two different mirrors (both under two different types of light) and without a speck of makeup. Thanks to my dermatologist, I no longer feel the need to cake on two foundations, topped with a powder, but even he cannot do anything for my squinty Korean eyes. Today is actually the first day in quite a while that I've entered the public realm not wearing foundation, but I still have eyeshadow on to give me the illusion of larger eyes.
Once again, I care too much.
Anyhow. What a fun experiment! I might quite enjoy this blogging for myself business. And now to facebook - there aren't too many people behind me after all.