Almost done

I'd forgotten about the guy that practically ATE my neck in TJ, my first year. I made out with a guy in TJ my second year - I CAN'T forget that one.

At one point, I requested someone who could provide a good listen, not good advice. More often than not, I just want someone who will willingly listen to my rants. More often than not, I have the advice I need.
All I want is a little bit of your attention.

"+ Lessons I've Learned:
- Caffeine has no effect on me whatsoever. Nor does sugar. The only thing that gets me high is a sunny day, and the day is not very sunny at 5am of the day an essay is due.
- Crossing the border is ridiculously easy, and really not all that it's cracked up to be. Then again, I didn't come with with expectations. I honestly did not know how close I was going to be to the border when I got in. Yes, I'm a SoCal-er. Sorry, I don't often have reason to traipse through San Diego and onto Mexico.
- Making friends outside the dorm building is not only easy, but is also an incredible life-saver. If only I had recognized this before Spring Quarter.
- Being an OL is more fun than I had imagined, and is definitely the best thing I've done yet, here at school.
Plenty of others as well, but I can't remember them all.

+ Lessons I Need to Learn
- Not everyone has to like me, and I don't have to like everyone. I know this is true, I'm just having a tought time convincing myself.
- Do NOT leave a paper to the last minute, especially if you're relying on a good grade in the class. I'll never learn this lesson.
- Living on 5 hours of sleep is possible. Living on 5 hours of sleep is possible.
- Living with me when I've only had 5 hours of sleep is ill-advised. Let me warn you - if I've had a bad night's sleep, I will almost certainly have a bad day. Be warned, for your sake.
Plenty of others as well, but I choose to ignore them all.

I've changed, hopefully for the better, I've grown, I've fallen in love, I've lived with heartache, and I'm ready for it to end.
And yet I'm not. It's one more step toward the real world, one more step toward leaving my hopeless dreams and fantasies behind. One has already been shot down - college is not paradise. Oftentimes, it's hell on earth.
And it can be more rewarding than anything else I've ever been through.
At least, it'd better be. "

Wrote this at the end of first year. Writing has improved by leaps and bounds.

" SMOTHERED, SMOTHERED, SMOTHERED.
Being smothered in love and good intentions is just as painful being squeezed in a vice."

Brilliant. And about family, in case you couldn't tell.

"I have a deep-seated fondness for summer. I thrive in warm weather; I find that it matches my temperament almost exactly - sunny, warm, cheerful, but with an occasional two weeks of gloom and despair. The endlessly warm days, with laughter and loud music in the background, fading into the endlessly warm nights with boardwalk music as its soundtrack - summer is my time.
I never take full advantage of these glorious months of bliss.
Summer is whizzing by merrily, leaving me in a constantly stunned frame of mind. How many summers have I moaned through, complaining endlessly of boredom and lethargy? How many Augusts have I flown through with my feet planted firmly but fruitlessly (I see myself as digging my feet into air, trying to stop Time in her tracks, but being blown along helplessly. Time stops for no [wo]man, after all)? I should think I'd have learned by now to enjoy each summer, the season I always look towards with such anticipation, the season I always leave behind with regret. Why is it that, during summer, I never really appreciate its worth? I find myself complaining of heat, swearing under my breath at the warm summer sun I should be basking in. I find myself lethargic, letting my brain atrophy from disuse (though not so much this summer, actually - I've taken to haunting libraries, slaking my thirst for good books. I'm afraid a year in college left me completely desiccated, parched for diction, syntax, vocabulary! Yes, I am a bookworm) when I should be taking advantage of my free hours. Ah, summer! How I abuse you! And how I shall miss you, and long for you, only to abuse you once again. But perhaps, next year, I will fully enjoy the brief time we'll share and leave in its wake happy memories that shall leave me sated until you roll around once more."

Yep. I'm still as summery as ever. And that was a pretty fine piece of writing.

"Interestingly enough, Sixth was one of my last choices when applying to UCSD. Eleanor Roosevelt was my first choice, but I don't remember the rest of the order. When I learned that I was accepted into Sixth College, my first reaction was "wha...?!?" since all I knew about Sixth was Culture, Art, and Technology. But then I went to Admit Day, fell in love, and have blessed the men and women who handle applications with all my heart.
I wonder how they decide who goes where. Perhaps they have six pigeons, and whichever pigeon craps on the application decides which college the student enters. But wait, no, my friend got into her college of choice, so that can't be. Well, no matter the method, they seem to know what they're doing.
I hope they don't use pigeons. Domesticated flying rodents, pigeons are! (I sound like Yoda...) Have you ever driven through a flock of pigeons? They don't move until the last minute, and when they finally do, they waddle their fat asses out of the way with a "I'm-doing-this-because-I-want-to-you-know" type of attitude, all nonchalant in the face of a crunchy death. Either that, or they'll squack indignantly, as if you just tresspassed on their territory and smushed some prized ants or something.
Ugh. Pigeons."

Ha. Oh, my experience with pigeons. It's an ongoing war. (This was the summer before second year started; I had another frazzling encounter with the beasts later in the school year.)
I'm copying larger chunks, which means I've become a better writer, and I've begun expounding on life lessons that would continue to elude me for years to come.

Alrighty. I finished re-reading my first livejournal. Wow. What a long walk down memory lane, that ended up being.
I like doing this every now and then. It's just nice, reading how I'd felt during certain crucial points of my life. I just covered about 3 years of my life, and I'd forgotten some events, and hadn't remembered others as clearly. Re-reading just kind of shows where I'm coming from, the ways I've changed, and what will always remain the same.