Still reminiscing

I'd forgotten about the fainting spell in Washington! That was painful.
I hadn't forgotten about the heartache, though. I'm over it, and have been for a while now, but it's still going to be a while before I'll want to put my heart through something like that again.
Not that I have any actual say in the matter, since my heart doesn't take into consideration all the past pain when it's caught up in someone new. I wish it had a better memory; I sure as hell do, but nothing my brain says registers.
By this time, my writing style had improved drastically.

"So, since all I ever seem to do in this thing is bitch about my (non-existant) love life, I want to take the time to stop complaining and say what's really important:
I LOVE YOU ALL. All my friends who read this stupid shit and respond about it, all my friends who talk to me when I need someone to talk and listen to me when I need someone to listen. I love you all. My world would be a living hell if I didn't have people like you to brighten my day.
There are also so many little things about life that I love, but I never seem to have any time to stop and smell the roses these days. But just waking up and seeing the sun shine in a clear blue sky, with a cooling breeze ruffling my hair as I walk and laugh with my friends is so wonderful. Eating a pint of ice cream with no guilt whatsoever (although I probably do that too many times...) is a little bit of heaven in a cardboard container. Staying up late for no damn good reason except to just talk and enjoy the night is incredibly relaxing. Tiring in the morning, but relaxing.
And just knowing that I'm loved, hearing people say "I love you" to me... that's got to be the greatest feeling in the world.
So: Thank you, and I love you. "

And this is why I can't accept anything less from new friends, because I have so many AMAZING friends of old.

"Isn't it amazing how fast time flies? It seems only yesterday that I was celebrating the New Year with my family; now, it's already March 17. Winter quarter is coming to an end, and my first year of college is 2/3 over. I still don't really feel like a college student, but then again, what is a college student supposed to feel like? Superior, because she's getting a higher education? Cowed by the possibilities life is throwing in her face? Do you really feel any older with every year that passes? For me, I don't think there's much of a difference, years wise. I've grown up, yes, but it's not like with every year that's passed I felt a little grayer. I've grown up, but I'm not a grown up, and I won't be for a while. So who am I to judge whether or not I feel college-y or not?"

That was pretty genius for a freshman in college.
Haha, I keep pumping myself full of arrogant compliments, and I LOVE it.

"So here's the extended rant I meant to post regarding Thuy and me declaring that we no longer felt the need to be independent. I mean, don't get me wrong - I don't mean that I want to become a pampered, spoiled, trophy girlfriend. No, I'm just tired of being single. I LOVE being independent and taking care of my own self (though I don't really do that these days, either. I love my parents). And I can't take the idea of being a submissive, obedient girlfriend, ready to do whatever her boyfriend's whims call for. No, I want a man - not a BOY, but a MAN - who will accept my independent state of mind and love me for it, someone who's willing to protect me when I admit that I might need it, and will be there for me even if I'm being my usual stubborn self and refuse to admit to anything. And will know that I still need it, even if I'm not admitting it.
But mainly, I just want someone there. However, I refuse to settle for just anything. No, I'm sick of the dating game even before I ever start dating, which is why I want a MAN, not a boy.
After 18 years of being single, I'm quite ready to give up that title. Now if only I can find someone worth giving it up for. "

Not genius-worthy, but a good sentiment. I've gone from "BITCH, PLEASE - I don't need a man!" to "GodDAMN why am I still single?" and back, and... well, I don't know what to say about that, really. I don't know where I am right this moment, but it should be relieving to know that, wherever it may be, I've been there before.
Now THAT is genius. :D

Wow. I was RIDICULOUSLY in love with him

"I really, really wish that I could just come to terms with the fact that not everyone in the world will like me and want to be my friend. All of the girls in my suite are pretty close and friendly, but we all have our own special friend/friends. And just because some of them like each other more than they like me, it doesn't mean that I'm not liked. In fact, it is perfectly alright for them to be close friends with each other. They are not obligated to like me, nor I them.
Now if I could believe that, that'd be great."

I really should start taking my own advice.

"All of the dateless people gathered together during the slow songs, swaying side to side in a large circle of single-awareness. I made light of our situation, suggesting to standerbys that they take in the sight, enjoying the rare gathering of such beautiful and available people."

Me, at my best. That's amazing - I wish I could remember doing that.

" People keep asking me why I'm sad.
Do I really seem that unhappy? I suppose the sad love songs moonlighting as my away messages and the endless rants in my weblogs don't do anything to prove otherwise.
Really, you must understand - I'm generally quite happy with life. The only reason why my blogs are so full of weepy sap is because I only put the bad into them. You can easily find someone to talk to when you're happy because people generally like being near happy people. Happiness exudes warmth and light, and it touches everyone around you. You can't help but feel a little bit lighter after being near a genuinely happy person.
Nothing listens better than a weblog when you're sad, however. People don't really enjoy listening to others when they're down. Just like happiness, sadness can engulf passerbys easily. The difference, however, is that people generally don't enjoy it. They're sucked into a whirl of emotions; the other person's feelings can easily overwhelm and drown innocents.
Sure, people feel obliged to help others when they're down. But can you truly say that you enjoy it? The end result is enjoyable - a comforting hug, kind words, and maybe even a broken smile. But getting there is simply unpleasant.
That's why I pour those feelings in here - I release pent-up emotions without harming others in the process. And if I do happen to accidentally suck anyone in, well it isn't without warning. That's the beauty of these things - I can rant and others don't have to listen. The weblog does it for me.
The problem is that these things become one-dimensional when they're supposed to reflect a multi-faceted personality.
That's where informational rants like this one comes in handy.
Yes, I am happy.
Yes, I am sad.
Yes, I am human."

More genius.